Great Sex and Orgasms After Prostate Cancer

In Male Pelvic Pain by Melinda Fontaine6 Comments


By Melinda Fontaine, DPT, PHRC Walnut Creek


Meet Paul and Ashley. Paul and Ashley have an active sex life. They are taking the time to get to know each other’s bodies and pleasures as well as their own. They are trying new ways of being intimate and using toys. They are having fun and growing closer as a couple.


Paul and Ashley are not a new couple; they have been married for 35 years. Paul was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year and had a radical prostatectomy. Even though the surgeon is very skilled and Paul was in great health going into the surgery, he still wound up with some dysfunction after surgery. Paul and his partner are taking this challenge as a reminder to reevaluate their sexuality. Sexual desires and preferences change over time normally and even more so after an event like prostate surgery. After 35 years of doing the same things, it is difficult to make a change. Paul and Ashley are grieving the loss of spontaneous sex and welcoming Viagra and vibrators into their sex life.


Paul is not alone. Almost 60% of men who have prostate surgery have erectile dysfunction 18 months later.1 These men are often surprised by their impairments, uncertain about what to expect during recovery/rehabilitation, and not sure what to do to help themselves. As a pelvic floor physical therapist, I see many men after prostatectomy, and I may be the only one to ask them about their sex life and make suggestions and referrals.  (To read more about pelvic floor physical therapy after prostatectomy, click here).


How prostatectomy affects desire, erection, orgasm, and ejaculation


Desire is most often still present after prostatectomy. It can be affected by things such as anxiety about your overall health, pain, or hormone treatments.


Injury or damage to the nerves that innervate the penis is the main reason for erectile dysfunction. Even in nerve-sparing surgeries, the nerves are still manipulated and injured and need time to heal. Healing can take up to 2 years. Better recovery of erections is associated with bilateral nerve sparing, good erections prior to surgery, and younger age. Poorer erections with or without prostate surgery are associated with heart disease, diabetes, smoking, and certain medications. There is no way to predict how much erection a man will have after 2 years. Growth of new blood vessels and the return of blood flow helps with healing, so many men participate in penile rehabilitation (see below).


A man’s orgasm has two stages: emission and ejaculation. Emission (aka the “point of no return”) is when the prostate, seminal vesicles, and vas deferens contract and produce semen where it is ready to be pushed out or ejaculated. (See Rachel’s blog on the male anatomy) After prostatectomy, semen is not produced or extremely little because the prostate is not present. Some men worry about the loss of semen because they would like to father a child. These men should speak with their doctor before surgery and consider banking some sperm. (Sidenote: sperm is still made in the testicles, but it just gets reabsorbed by the body instead of coming out and is not harmful.)


Ejaculation occurs when the muscles around the penis contract and relax rhythmically and push the semen out. Simultaneously, a message of pleasure is sent to the man’s brain, known as orgasm. Again, after prostatectomy, no ejaculate comes out when the muscles contract.  Luckily, the signal for pleasure is still sent to the brain, and a man can experience a “dry orgasm” that can be just as intense as always. Many men and their partners get used to the “dry orgasm.”  Some men report that their orgasm feels like “the string section instead of the whole orchestra.” Tips to improve orgasm include fantasy, foreplay, letting the excitement die down and rebuild, and orgasming with the firmest erection possible. Injury to the nerves that control arousal may mean that a man loses his ability to delay orgasm. This can be controlled by slowing down and/or using some antidepressant drugs.


Penile rehabilitation


Practice. Practice. Practice. Use it or lose it.


How do you work out a penis with erectile dysfunction? Anything that gets the blood flowing: fantasy, touching, intimacy with a partner, pelvic floor exercises (see these posts about the male kegel and pelvic PT), use of a vibrator, pills, penis pumps, etc. It doesn’t have to result in erection or orgasm (though that would be great) as long as you get the blood moving.


Immediately post-surgery, many surgeons will prescribe a daily low dose sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra), or tadalafil (Cialis) to increase blood flow. A full dose is also recommended frequently to attempt sex (either solo or with a partner). These medications cause dilation of the veins and increase blood flow to the penis. They may not produce an erection, especially in the first 6 months of recovery, if the nerves are still healing from injury. These medications may interfere with other medications for heart disease, so discuss all treatments with your doctor.


A vacuum constriction device, or penis pump, also draws blood to the area and can help create an erection for sex. It is a plastic cylinder placed around the penis and a pump that pulls the air out. Consequently, the blood is also drawn up into the penis. A stretchy band can be placed at the base of the penis to maintain erection. Pumps can be used before or after foreplay.


Penile injections, used a few minutes before sexual activity, are very effective. They work in 80-90% of men2, but many men are afraid to try them.  A doctor instructs a man how to deliver the injection into the side of the penis, and it doesn’t hurt as much as you would expect. When asked to rate the pain on a scale of 0-10 with 10 being the most pain, most men reported a 1/10 or 2/10.


Urethral suppositories are tiny tablets inserted in the urethra (the opening at the tip of the penis) and absorbed into the tissue of the penis. They don’t work as well as injections, but may be easier to use.  


A penile implant is a balloon and pump system inserted surgically in the penis and scrotum that allow a man to “inflate” his penis using a tiny pump in the scrotum. The penile implant is usually considered after the above treatments have failed. The implant is very effective at creating an erect penis for penetration, but does not help with desire, sensation, or orgasm.  


Erection does not equal sexual satisfaction


The goal of a man recovering from prostate surgery should be unselfconscious sex. This is going to look different for each man. This goal can be achieved with or without an erection. Sex does not have to involve penile penetration, but it can. The most important part is that he feels pleasure, and if he is with a partner, then he feels intimacy. After prostatectomy, it is perfectly normal to grieve some losses, perhaps of spontaneous sex, strong erection, ejaculation, penis size, etc. Be accepting of using sexual aides. Have good communication with your partner about your anxieties about sex. Experiment to find out what both you and your partner enjoy and what you need to have satisfying sex. The answers may surprise you!


How pelvic floor physical therapy can help post-prostatectomy


A pelvic floor physical therapist can help suggest strengthening and endurance exercises for the pelvic floor to also help with blood flow and rehabilitating the muscles responsible for erection. However, the most common reason I see men after prostatectomy is for urinary incontinence, which can also interfere with one’s sex life.  While incontinence is not dangerous for a man or his partner, some people find it distracting or worry that it bothers their partner. The prostate provides support for the urethra (tube for urine in the penis ).  After it is removed, the pelvic floor muscles have to make up for the loss of support by doing something they have never had to do before.  Even if the muscles were working fine before surgery, they now have to go above and beyond the call of duty. Often, incontinence after prostatectomy can be eliminated with exercises and bladder retraining. See here for help finding a pelvic physical therapist near you.  


Check out these other great websites on intimacy and cancer, and seek out professionals in your area:

American Cancer Society

American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) SexHealthMatters

American Sexual Health Association (ASHA)

American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)

Fertile Hope (a LIVESTRONG initiative)

Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA)



Are you unable to come see us in person? We offer virtual appointments!

Due to COVID-19, we understand people may prefer to utilize our services from their homes. We also understand that many people do not have access to pelvic floor physical therapy and we are here to help! The Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center is a multi-city company of highly trained and specialized pelvic floor physical therapists committed to helping people optimize their pelvic health and eliminate pelvic pain and dysfunction. We are here for you and ready to help, whether it is in-person or online. 

Virtual sessions are available with PHRC pelvic floor physical therapists via our video platform, Zoom, or via phone. The cost for this service is $75.00 per 30 minutes. For more information and to schedule, please visit our digital healthcare page.

In addition to virtual consultation with our physical therapists, we also offer integrative health services with Jandra Mueller, DPT, MS. Jandra is a pelvic floor physical therapist who also has her Master’s degree in Integrative Health and Nutrition. She offers services such as hormone testing via the DUTCH test, comprehensive stool testing for gastrointestinal health concerns, and integrative health coaching and meal planning. For more information about her services and to schedule, please visit our Integrative Health website page.




  1. Stanford JL, et al. (2000) Urinary and sexual function after radical prostatectomy for clinically localized prostate cancer: The prostate cancer outcomes study. JAMA 283(3):354-360. doi:10.1001/jama.283.3.354
  2. American Cancer Society. (2013) Sexuality for the man with cancer.


  1. Interesting article thank you for writing it. My wife and I grew up Catholic so it has been difficult taking a relaxed attitude about sex after prostatectomy, and using sexual stimulation to aid in recovery from incontinence and ED without accompanying guilt feelings. This article helps. I am about to see surgeon for post op appt. after six months and am about 90% recovered from incontinence and about 70% from ED, without any aids like meds or the pump but just stimulation and pelvic exercises now. Just need to avoid nagging guilt left over from legalistic upbringing. Thanks again.

    1. How old are you? Any other post-surgery complications/surprises?
      Thanks for any insights. I am head in to surgery later this month (Oct 2017).

  2. Any advice will help I have tried just about everything the pill the pump the injection please help my marriage is falling apart

    1. Author Melinda Fontaine says:

      Hi Ralph,

      You are not alone. My first recommendation is to find a good sex therapist. Try the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) website to find one near you. It is common for couples to need a coach to help them find intimacy and pleasure in their sex life or relationship, especially after something has changed. After you start seeing a sex therapist, if you want to look into the medical side more, go back to your doctor and ask what other options may be appropriate for you. Surgical implants, for example, can help men have an erection firm enough for penetration. Lastly, use the American Cancer Society’s website to find a local support group to find people in similar situations to talk to. Take care.

  3. I am 79 years old with a still-healthy libido. I underwent radiation treatments for stage one prostate cancer about five years ago, and recently, following orgasm, I experienced a lot of blood and clots in my urine. On three occasions since then, the clotting obstructed my urethra so that I could not urinate and had to rush to the ER of a local hospital and be catheterized and irrigated – sometimes overnight, sometimes for a few days. I am in the care of a urologist, naturally, but what I am finding out so far, is that there is no predictable cure or treatment for what I am diagnosed with – radiation cystitis. The uncertainty of if or when a flare-up and bleeding might occur is disconcerting enough, but being still blessed with a strong libido, I am worried that I dare not experience orgasm lest I wind up back in the ER, catheterized. Should I forego sex altogether, or forego it for a matter of months, or have sex up to the point of orgasm and stop, never having an orgasm again..? Is there any known treatment for this condition or any way of judging when or if to indulge in sexual activity? This is a very real quality of life issue for me and I have no intention of living my remaining years celibate if I don’t have to! I’ll be grateful for any info and advice you may offer, thank you!

    1. Author Melinda Fontaine says:

      Hi Dave,
      I have only read about your condition in the literature. Ask these questions to your urologist, and ask if there are any treatments, such as bladder instillations, that would make it less likely for you to experience bleeding. Ask if waiting for some more bladder healing to occur would decrease your likelihood of bleeding. You deserve to have the most pleasurable sex life possible, but you do have to work around these hurdles. Speaking with a sex therapist near you may also help you get some more ideas.

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