What We Didn’t Learn From Sex Ed: The Pleasure Piece

In Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy by Melinda Fontaine1 Comment

 

By Melinda Fontaine

 

When you hear mention of “the talk” do you also picture a red faced kid and an adult with sweaty palms talking awkwardly around the topic of the birds and the bees? Thinking back on my childhood, I have to give credit to my parents and teachers for attempting this important task with such bravery. For those of you who don’t know me, I have a 4-year-old son. (Brag moment: He already knows how to use the words “penis” and “vulva” correctly and respectfully!) When he is a little older, I picture us having the best sex talk in the history of sex because he has a really cool mom who happens to be a pelvic floor physical therapist. OK, most likely, it will still be an awkward mess, but a mom can dream. Plenty of people have tackled the topics of how pregnancy happens, how to prevent sexually transmitted infections, and how to ensure consent. Planned Parenthood has some great resources. For a humorous and fact-studded look at the state of sexual education in this country, check out John Oliver’s show and his improved sex ed video. Here, I want to address other things that may or may not be on people’s radar when talking about sex, such as pleasure.

 

Anatomy

 

For a great summary of male anatomy, see Rachel Gelman’s post A Cock in the Hen House: A look inside the Male Anatomy. Last year, Eve Appeal conducted a survey of 2,000 adults and found that 50% of men could not identify the vagina on a diagram of female anatomy! A similar study found that 44% of women could also not identify it!

 

 

More than just a penis and vagina

 

Various body parts can feel sexual pleasure, including but not limited to penis, vagina, scrotum, clitoris, prostate, nipples, anus, etc. The clitoris is a common source of pleasure for many women and a fun piece of trivia for anatomy enthusiasts. The picture above does it a disservice because it is not just a dot. It is a 3-dimensional structure with legs that extend under the labia on both sides of the vaginal opening. This picture is much more accurate and a helpful guide for anyone trying to stimulate it. Many women are not able to have orgasms with vaginal penetration alone, but a lot can have orgasms with clitoral stimulation. Men experience orgasm during intercourse 90% of the time, while women only orgasm during intercourse 50% of the time.1 Maybe if we talked about everyone’s equal right to pleasure in the sex talk, we could change this.

 

What sex is and is not

 

In 1966, Masters and Johnson defined sex as vaginal penetration with a penis resulting in simultaneous orgasm. Wow, that’s rather limited! Thankfully, our definition has now expanded. Sex includes any activity that gives sexual pleasure. This includes solo sex or partnered sex, penetrative or non-penetrative sex, sexual activity with toys or media or fetishes, etc. A great way to find out what is pleasurable for yourself, is to try it out, and a great way to find out what is pleasurable for your partner is to ask. This piece about pleasure is often missed in the usual sex talk, but it is a very important part of sex. The pleasure is what draws our species to sex. It is not shameful, and it is not limited to one gender. If sexual activity is uncomfortable, this is your body’s way of getting your attention, and it can be resolved. Rachel Gelman talks about painful sex for women in this podcast.  Persons of any gender with sexual pain or dysfunction can get help from a pelvic physical therapist. Persons wanting to improve their sexual pleasure might also like to speak to a sex therapist.

 

Great Expectations

 

There is an abundance of sex in the media and this blog does a great job pointing out some vital flaws in the media’s representation of sex. Another problem is that young people are first being introduced to sex in film or print which is intended to be entertaining, not educational. If my doctors learned medicine from watching Grey’s Anatomy instead of studying at medical school, they would probably miss a thing or two. If we assume sex is what we see in film, we could make a lot of incorrect assumptions. When our expectations do not match reality, we get frustrated, and who wants to be frustrated during a first sexual experience? The sex talk should mention that not all bodies are shaped/shaved/bleached/dressed like porn stars, not all sex is perfect, real sex involves communication (not just “yes, yes, yes”), people use lube, and condoms can be sexy.

 

I hope to spark some interest in improving sexual education, and I hope you spend a little time thinking about these alternative sex talk ideas. What else would you like to include in the “ideal sex talk”?

 

 

References:

 

  1. Kontula O, et al. Determinants of female sexual orgasms. Socioaffect Neurosci Psychol. 2016; 6: 10.3402/snp.v6.31624.

FAQ

What are pelvic floor muscles?

The pelvic floor muscles are a group of muscles that run from the coccyx to the pubic bone. They are part of the core, helping to support our entire body as well as providing support for the bowel, bladder and uterus. These muscles help us maintain bowel and bladder control and are involved in sexual pleasure and orgasm. The technical name of the pelvic floor muscles is the Levator Ani muscle group. The pudendal nerve, the levator ani nerve, and branches from the S2 – S4 nerve roots innervate the pelvic floor muscles. They are under voluntary and autonomic control, which is a unique feature only they possess compared to other muscle groups.

What is pelvic floor physical therapy?

Pelvic floor physical therapy is a specialized area of physical therapy. Currently, physical therapists need advanced post-graduate education to be able to help people with pelvic floor dysfunction because pelvic floor disorders are not yet being taught in standard physical therapy curricula. The Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center provides extensive training for our staff because we recognize the limitations of physical therapy education in this unique area.

What happens at pelvic floor therapy?

During an evaluation for pelvic floor dysfunction the physical therapist will take a detailed history. Following the history the physical therapist will leave the room to allow the patient to change and drape themselves. The physical therapist will return to the room and using gloved hands will perform an external and internal manual assessment of the pelvic floor and girdle muscles. The physical therapist will once again leave the room and allow the patient to dress. Following the manual examination there may also be an examination of strength, motor control, and overall biomechanics and neuromuscular control. The physical therapist will then communicate the findings to the patient and together with their patient they establish an assessment, short term and long term goals and a treatment plan. Typically people with pelvic floor dysfunction are seen one time per week for one hour for varying amounts of time based on the severity and chronicity of the disease. A home exercise program will be established and the physical therapist will help coordinate other providers on the treatment team. Typically patients are seen for 3 months to a year.

What is pudendal neuralgia and how is it treated?

Pudendal Neuralgia is a clinical diagnosis that means pain in the sensory distribution of the pudendal nerve. The pudendal nerve is a mixed nerve that exits the S2 – S4 sacral nerve roots, we have a right and left pudendal nerve and each side has three main trunks: the dorsal branch, the perineal branch, and the inferior rectal branch. The branches supply sensation to the clitoris/penis, labia/scrotum, perineum, anus, the distal ⅓ of the urethra and rectum, and the vulva and vestibule. The nerve branches also control the pelvic floor muscles. The pudendal nerve follows a tortuous path through the pelvic floor and girdle, leaving it vulnerable to compression and tension injuries at various points along its path.

Pudendal Neuralgia occurs when the nerve is unable to slide, glide and move normally and as a result, people experience pain in some or all of the above-mentioned areas. Pelvic floor physical therapy plays a crucial role in identifying the mechanical impairments that are affecting the nerve. The physical therapy treatment plan is designed to restore normal neural function. Patients with pudendal neuralgia require pelvic floor physical therapy and may also benefit from medical management that includes pharmaceuticals and procedures such as pudendal nerve blocks or botox injections.

What is interstitial cystitis and how is it treated?

Interstitial Cystitis is a clinical diagnosis characterized by irritative bladder symptoms such as urinary urgency, frequency, and hesitancy in the absence of infection. Research has shown the majority of patients who meet the clinical definition have pelvic floor dysfunction and myalgia. Therefore, the American Urologic Association recommends pelvic floor physical therapy as first-line treatment for Interstitial Cystitis. Patients will benefit from pelvic floor physical therapy and may also benefit from pharmacologic management or medical procedures such as bladder instillations.

Who is the Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Team?

The Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center was founded by Elizabeth Akincilar and Stephanie Prendergast in 2006, they have been treating people with pelvic floor disorders since 2001. They were trained and mentored by a medical doctor and quickly became experts in treating pelvic floor disorders. They began creating courses and sharing their knowledge around the world. They expanded to 11 locations in the United States and developed a residency style training program for their employees with ongoing weekly mentoring. The physical therapists who work at PHRC have undergone more training than the majority of pelvic floor physical therapists and as a result offer efficient and high quality care.

How many years of experience do we have?

Stephanie and Liz have 24 years of experience and help each and every team member become an expert in the field through their training and mentoring program.

Why PHRC versus anyone else?

PHRC is unique because of the specific focus on pelvic floor disorders and the leadership at our company. We are constantly lecturing, teaching, and staying ahead of the curve with our connections to medical experts and emerging experts. As a result, we are able to efficiently and effectively help our patients restore their pelvic health.

Do we treat men for pelvic floor therapy?

The Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center is unique in that the Cofounders have always treated people of all genders and therefore have trained the team members and staff the same way. Many pelvic floor physical therapists focus solely on people with vulvas, this is not the case here.

Do I need pelvic floor therapy forever?

The majority of people with pelvic floor dysfunction will undergo pelvic floor physical therapy for a set amount of time based on their goals. Every 6 -8 weeks goals will be re-established based on the physical improvements and remaining physical impairments. Most patients will achieve their goals in 3 – 6 months. If there are complicating medical or untreated comorbidities some patients will be in therapy longer.

Comments

  1. Sex education wss non-existent in my Kansas junior high, actually prohibited. That was mid 1960s.

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